


You Knock Me Out, I Fall Apart

by lovenotLOVE



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (lowkey tho), Angst, Dead People, Emotions, Ghosts, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, this is the only angst youre gonna see from me probably, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 10:10:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12724590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovenotLOVE/pseuds/lovenotLOVE
Summary: It's cold. Far too cold.





	You Knock Me Out, I Fall Apart

All his life, death had felt like the maw of an angry beast, sending sparks flying from the soles of his socks- boots- shoes- whenever he tried to outrun it. It used to be how Hamilton got the spice out of his oh-so-tragic life, but now? Watching his beloved firstborn son being lowered into the ground in a casket that should belong to him?

 

He felt differently.

 

***

 

Hamilton is tired, so,  _ so _ tired, a lifetime of working and fighting on the edge of his life finally catching up to him. He can't feel his legs after his first walk around the City, and he can't  _ bear _ to feel his emotions after talking with his children, watching his grieving wife slink past him.

 

The air is dull at Trinity's cemetery. It reminds Hamilton of the war, the scent of his fallen comrades (oh, John, his dearest  _ John _ , what would he think of all this) as their corpses disintegrated to God-knows-where. He finds Philip's headstone and runs his fingers over the smooth marble underneath. It's cold.  _ Far _ too cold.  _ Just like his son's dead body buried underneath him. _ A pity laugh, for himself. A younger Hamilton may have gotten a laugh out of it.

 

“We miss you, Philip,” he says, conjuring up an image of his son in his mind, “we all do. You would like it uptown; it's quiet uptown.” As he uses the headstone to brace himself and stand up, a warmth seeps through Hamilton's bones, one he hasn't felt since Philip was alive.

  
(If he closes his eyes, he swears that he can feel his son's youthful energy and hear his tinkling laugh in the breeze that passes by him.)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok this is just a vent fic I wrote on the spot lol
> 
> HMU on Tungle at @soyamorsoyvida! Comments and kudos much appreciated!


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